Working in the Shadows - wayne centrone

I wrote this blog post a number of years ago. It seems very apropos to my current life circumstance.

When I was very young I became extremely interested in people.  I wanted to know why people acted the way that they did.  I wanted to know what other people thought.  I wanted to know what other people dreamed.  As an adult this fascination has continued to drive my desire to learn more about the way that I think, learn, dream, and act. I have come to realize the only way I can “know” more about others is to know as much as I can about myself.
 
When I get scared about the direction that my life is taking me, when I feel overwhelmed by the experiences I have influencing me – I find one common theme running through this mayhem – distrust.  I know that I am not trusting that God has a plan for me.  I know that I am letting my ego dictate my thoughts, and this is like being on an emotional roller coaster.  When this happens to me, when I lose faith in a power greater then myself, I am as effective as two dollar bill (it still spends like money, but what exactly do you “do” with it?).
 
Having the privilege to work with people on the edge of life has been the greatest blessing I could have ever wished for.  For, in spite of my best attempts at sabotaging the lessons that God is sending me; each day I learn the true meaning of living from people who have been pushed to the farthest margins of society.  Everyday I am afforded an opportunity to work with people living in underserved circumstances and situations, I learn the tremendous lessons of trust and faith - trust that life will all work out, and faith in belief that the best is yet to come.  
 
If I can't feel humbled and thankful in the shadow of people who, by societal standards, have nothing - then I am more of an arrogant bastard than I thought.  When I slow life down to its fundamental components I realize how blessed I truly am.  

What more could anyone wish for in their life than a chance to learn, love and grow - especially in such a richly rewarding way.  I am so thankful to see "bigger picture of life" through the eyes of those that I have been called to serve. They are my greatest teachers . . . and, I truly hope and pray I can be their humble servant.

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